Unpolished Recovery
Unpolished Recovery fearlessly dives into the raw and unfiltered tales of triumph over addiction and alcoholism. We believe that true healing begins when we embrace our stories' messy, imperfect aspects. Whether you're someone seeking inspiration on your path to recovery, a friend or family member supporting a loved one, or simply a curious listener, this podcast offers eye-opening and uplifting insights.
Unpolished Recovery
Redemption and Supporting Others
Brian's raw and inspiring journey from the depths of addiction to over three years of sobriety offers an intimate look at the resilience of the human spirit, a theme we're honored to share with you. As he recounts his experiences of redefining his identity and safeguarding the well-being of others in his roles at Crossbridge and as a behavioral health technician, you'll find yourself rooting for his triumphs and moved by his dedication to aiding those at the start of their recovery.
Welcome to Unpolished Recovery. My name is Trey. Most stories of recovery start with how bad addiction was, how they entered recovery and how great life is now. That's a polished story. Today we're going to hear a story from Brian.
Speaker 2:My name is Chris. I'm your co-host of Unpolished Recovery. Would you jump right into it, Brian? Is that good? You got a remarkable story. You're definitely one of the success stories that come through Restoration House. Do you kind of want to give us just an overview of who Brian is today?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm a recovering addict. Used over 20 years, since I was 11. I've got just over three years clean. What do you do for work? I work at Crossbridge full-time and I work part-time in the treatment center and just as a behavioral health technician. What's?
Speaker 2:your role through Crossbridge. I know that of course, I have the luxury of knowing what you do for a living, but for people that want to know, what is it that you do at Crossbridge?
Speaker 3:I am a program monitor and I just ensure the safety of the participants and drug test clients.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, I personally know you do a lot more than that. I guess that's just the. But I do know that you ensure that the environment does stay safe, but you also make sure that participants have access to resources. You share your own personal story with them. You know, kind of help them through that early recovery process. It's vital to have other people that's done it before around you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, early recovery is definitely not easy.
Speaker 1:Brian, I'm curious. You have a full-time job here, but then you're saying that you also work in another treatment center, and I'm just curious what drives you to do more than just work full-time?
Speaker 3:Well, honestly, I have a passion for recovery. It means a lot to me because I believe that addicts are the only people that get to live life twice. We've been through hell and now we get to be actually living instead of just existing, so it's been a passion for me. I've always wanted to work in treatment, so it's actually like a dream come true.
Speaker 2:I can imagine working in sober, living five days a week, 40 hours a week and then going to inpatient most or 28-day programs give or take, but I imagine that would be different ends of the spectrum, right.
Speaker 3:It really is. In treatment we try to get them to stay there no matter what, because give them a chance. And then here at sober living. It's like if you don't do right, then you're going to have consequences.
Speaker 2:Yeah, everybody's process is different. We've seen that here. Right, so you had said that you started using 11. Was that the first time you ever took any narcotic or alcohol?
Speaker 3:That was the first time I started drinking. My parents would give me little sips of wine and beer when I was about six to eight years old, but then I decided to drink actually to get drunk at 11 years old, yeah. And then you said it went on for about 20 years. Yeah, 20, 22 years off. And on, what is your?
Speaker 2:drug of choice More, More. What do you got? So you were also a participant here. Yes, I was A restoration house, you were a graduate, and that was some time ago two and a half years ago when you graduated. And how did you come to restoration house? What was the process that get you there?
Speaker 3:Well, I remember I was in and out of recovery and I was at another sober living and I was sitting in my room getting loaded, begging God to take my life and I OD'd and my roommates found me. They called 911, I went to Rolling Hills, which is a psych hospital, slash detox and I detoxed there. Then I went to Buffalo Valley Treatment Center and I stayed 35 days there and they found this place and said it would be good for me because it was recovery 12-step and Christian programs, so they thought it would fit my needs. I came here, been here ever since.
Speaker 2:How many times have you been in the treatment?
Speaker 3:I've lost count.
Speaker 2:Really yeah. So you gave an asthma over eight.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I'd say at least 20 in and out.
Speaker 1:So you're a professional yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I had a counselor tell me I was treatment savvy one time.
Speaker 2:And you know I get no judgment from me, because I had a lot of failed attempts and each time I thought it was it and. But the truth was when I was in a controlled environment I could thrive. But as soon as I got in that position where I had to deal with life on life's terms, you know, I didn't hang in there long enough to develop coping skills. But I'm sure you've been asked this quite a bit but why was this time different than all those others?
Speaker 3:Well, first I've had enough pain. I got tired of hurting myself and others. Second, restoration house gave me a way to build on that recovery that I've accumulated. For instance, I eventually got my license and then about six months later I got a car and then I'm working and driving and with the car comes a lot of freedom. So I'm actually able to function in everyday life without the use of chemicals and I'm able to, you know, do what I want to do within the realm of what I'm allowed to do. But you know, I go to a lot of meetings. I just do the right thing for the most part, not always, but yeah so how many it's?
Speaker 2:so you know, as a participant, their participants are required to go every day some type of meeting, some of those outside AA and they some are in house things. But you know, like we mentioned, you graduated two and a half years ago, but you're saying that you continue to do those things. Is that correct?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I believe. All I believe, all I have is a daily reprieve and that every day I wake up with untreated addiction. So I have to do certain things each day to keep that addiction in check, otherwise it's going to get the best of me and, you know, a relapse isn't going to pop out in front of me and say, hey, here's an eight ball or something. It's going to gradually, gradually work itself up towards a relapse and like, for instance, if I don't make my bed and I don't get away from my daily routine, then I'm in danger.
Speaker 2:That's a good way to look at it. Daily reprieve, yeah. So what's different today, at three years in recovery, than it was those first six months of your sobriety? Like you're still doing the same things, but what are some of the things that are different?
Speaker 3:Well, the first three months in recovery I obsessed about using probably every day, if not more than once a day. Now I really I have those fleeting thoughts, but I really don't obsess about it. I know what to do with those thoughts, whether I call my sponsor, talk to you or another recovering addict, go to a meeting, pray, meditate, read literature, whatever I have to do. Also, if you remember my first month here, I was unstable on my medications with the mental health and was off my rocker and you were going to have me go to met crisis stabilization. But I saw my doctor, got my meds right and, you know, started to work in the program and doing a lot better.
Speaker 2:So I'm glad you mentioned that because you know now that you have, now that you work in treatment, you see that co-occurring disorders are pretty common. I know from my own personal experience a lot of my relapses were a result of not taking care of my mental health. Just the stigma growing up that you know, as a man I'm supposed to pull myself up on bootstraps. You know whatever emotion is, just push it down, that's kind of appropriate babe.
Speaker 3:That's the way I grew up too.
Speaker 2:And you know, when I actually got around some people that had experience and explained it. You know I got an assessment and you know didn't cure me, of course, of my issues, but the highs and lows aren't so severe. Do you mind to share what diagnosis that you're at? Sure?
Speaker 3:At 12 years old or 11 years old, I don't exactly remember because I started using, but I was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome and if you don't know what that is, it's a neurological disorder that causes involuntary ticks and I was made fun of a lot growing up and kind of never felt part of. I've also been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I take medications for both and my life's manageable. It's not cured, like you said, but it is manageable and I deal with it the best I can.
Speaker 1:I'm curious. Oftentimes people find a reason to blame their addiction or alcoholism on something that happened in their life and I'm curious if there were times in your addiction that your mental health was your reason that you had an addiction.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would blame that. I would say nobody loves me. I'm different. That's why I'm using. If you had my life, you would use too. But I got past that once I accepted truly accepted the fact that that's how God made me. That's when I could begin to start to heal.
Speaker 2:If you will, and I'm sure you've been able to because of your experience with that. I'm sure you've been able to help other people that are struggling at the same point because you know, first step, getting educated on it, and not everybody's been at position where they just think they're broke. I did. I thought I was broken, that, whatever everyone else had, that they were able to straighten their life up. My mom was broke and I accepted. You know myself or who I was right was a big part. But so do you believe, since you managed like that, that experience is, you know, a child being made fun of and stuff like that you believe that was a contributing factor to where you at least turn to self medicating or yeah, yeah, it really was.
Speaker 3:I believe addicts use a lot because of trauma they go through and start to become the real deal and pass that threshold before when they become the real alcoholic or the real drug addict. But yeah, I believe that that played a factor in it. Plus, when I used, I love the feeling it gave me. It was like a wound up. Spring was inside of me, and once I used, it's just you know what I mean. So it's just, the consequences got so great and I was hurting everybody in my life, including myself, and so I had to make a change.
Speaker 2:So I didn't become an addict because I didn't like it. You know, I just remember the first treatment center. I went in the counselor like who in here wants locks getting high and like nobody raised their hands and I eventually kind of half raised my I thought it was a trick question. Yeah, it's going to be discharged.
Speaker 3:Discharged yeah.
Speaker 2:I think it was my very first treatment center and I didn't realize it then, but years later that you know coming to grips with that. You know that I chose to do those things. Yeah, I have trauma, just like most people I've worked with, and that's one of the big differences Back then I looked for reasons to use. Today I look for reasons not to, and there's a lot more of those reasons today than when I first started. But it's just every experience I went through. You know success and failure has contributed to where I'm at today and you know I appreciate you being so. That's one of the reasons why we asked you to come on, because I believe you're at a place like even with you know imperfections, things you struggle with, you're open. Was that always the case? Where you have you always been that open with the things that you go through, like mental health Typically, like I said, there's a stigma.
Speaker 2:You know, that's not something people want to raise their hand and talk about, but it is common.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I haven't always been this open. I was always embarrassed, I was ashamed. I was, like I said, embarrassed. I didn't want to burden anybody with my problems. I thought that I'm a man. I got to take care of it myself. I thought that outside help was for the week and so forth. But what I've learned in recovery is that a closed mouth doesn't get fed, so like if I'm going to the doctor and I tell him, I don't give him all my symptoms and tell him the doctor what's going on with me, how is he going to help me? You know, and after I realized that I couldn't fix this by myself, I was willing to share my story and willing to be open with people, because I learned how to take suggestions. This time around, people told me what to do and how to do it and I said, yes, I will do that, because I tried doing it my way in the past and it never worked out. Because Brian gets Brian drunk. You know, aana keeps Brian sober. The program keeps me clean. Brian's anonymous gets me high.
Speaker 2:And you know we've had, we know, a lot of people in recovery. Each person has their program. They work, they work the program, but they have their locks and dislikes with meetings and things like that. You know what is your favorite. You're a big 12-step guy, so that's why I'm bringing this up Like what is the favorite part of recovery today, Like what's the activities you enjoy the most.
Speaker 3:Well, I like playing golf, I enjoy going to meetings, hanging out with friends in recovery, going out to eat, like I enjoy big book studies and getting into the literature more. And I enjoy just socializing. Being a part of makes me feel like a high almost, you know, just being part of something. It's cool, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 2:Well, I think for so many years we're done. It's like a slow death and then we do get in recovery and we give it a chance and we actually, like you mentioned earlier, we start living. It is like being high, like we're actually progressing in life, we're becoming the best version of ourselves. It would be that day and it does. It changes everything, but whether in a storm, sometimes, what's some of the you got anything that pops up like during the last three years, most difficult time, what was the biggest wall you had to get over?
Speaker 3:Just recently my finances, I struggled, made some poor decisions and finally I decided to ask for help because the pain got so great. So I went to someone who understood finances and talked to them about it and they got me out of some trouble and hopefully I won't make the same mistake again.
Speaker 2:So yeah, let it know anywhere. Brian, I think you're trying this recovery thing with more than just drugs and alcohol.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute.
Speaker 2:It is. It's truly learning a new way to live and I didn't know it getting in it. I didn't know it for the first year. I was just glad I wasn't injecting chemicals in my body and wasn't going back to jail. But obviously it's great. It gave me a new life, like what you're describing, and I've been there with you through the ups and downs. I've seen the growth. But it is the addiction affects us in other ways. Instant gratification doesn't just apply to drugs and alcohol and if it's good makes me feel good, you know I want more of it until I get sick from it, you know so I learned that through recovery. But right, so what's some of the other like during the During the last three years? What's maybe a major turning point for you? Like you know, relate, I know a lot of us struggle with relationships because we Put down the drugs and the easiest thing to fill the holes in our heart is another person. So did you ever have any issues with that?
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, I do. I still struggle with that. However, now I've decided to actually give this a chance and work on myself a little bit more and Not so much look for the outside fix for my internal problem but as to focus on the internal problem and Really, like my prayer, life has really taken off lately. I just I was telling Trey, you know, right before this. He asked how my morning was going and I said it's pretty good. I started it off with with God and meditation and reading that I read every morning. I read the, just for today. Every morning I pray, I say the third step quote, third step prayer, the seventh step prayer. Talk to God a little bit and just be silent and try to listen for his voice, you know. And but yeah, I struggle with women. Still, I struggle with finances, I like to Indulge and like any addict, you know, I used to think I was different, but what I've learned through sponsorship and Other people's stories is that there's nothing new under the sun.
Speaker 2:What about, like I said, I have a luxury I know your story and stuff and I know Family's important to you today, like you know. How has that process been? Because you had mentioned that we hurt a lot of people and it's usually people that care about us the most is the ones that you know we hurt and continue to hurt for a while and and then I know today you have a Healthy relationship. How's that process been?
Speaker 3:Well, it was rocky at first but I got to tell you. Last August I flew out to Phoenix, where my family is out west, and my mother and father they bought a safe when I was in addiction and they locked up Everything my mom's jewelry, money, whatever it was. Well, my mom would, would always sleep right next to her purse and I was that guy who would take out of her purse when I could and my dad's wallet when he was in the shower. And Last August I flew it. Like I said, I flew out to Phoenix for my dad's 80th birthday party and they wanted me out there for that. And I remember going to the store with my mom and she said here I have to use the bathroom, brian, will you hold my purse? So they they began to trust me.
Speaker 3:Now you know I am trustworthy today. I have integrity today. It wasn't always that case, but I Felt like I burnt a lot of bridges. But really I'm be. I'm starting to mend those relationships that I've Thought I totally destroyed. So all my parents wanted was for me to be independent, happy, and you know just a functioning adult functioning adult, yeah, and.
Speaker 2:Easier said than done right it is.
Speaker 3:I'm still growing up.
Speaker 2:You and me both. You know that many, but I had it all figured out yet I know. I'm not in that crowd, so you know, but I'd like you. I've done the same thing like I got got in this stuff Because I didn't want to use, because it seemed like everything went to pieces, you know, and it was hell like I would if I was going through withdrawal or dope sick, you know.
Speaker 2:It's a most common term term like there was nothing gonna stop me From getting well, you know, as far as physically and I could just justify the insanity, you know. But but when I got in I was just trying not to use and then I learned that it was a lot bigger, you know, with, like I said, mental health, spirituality, like it. Recovery applies to every facet my life, even my relationships today, you know. So I definitely relate to that and I've seen the transformation. I know you're very honest about your struggles today, but you know we might have a long way to go, but we ain't nowhere near where we started out. Oh no, and I know even to work here it's a special to me, you know.
Speaker 2:It's my opinion, is a very big blessing to work in this organization Because everyone that's affiliated with it whether it's kid power, restoration house, whatever, like everyone has just a passion to help people and it means a lot to us. A lot of us have been around here for years. So we we feel like we have a personal investment. So anyone that's brought on here is because they have those same qualities. So I know I feel honored and I'm glad that you know everything worked out where you could kind of pass on that experience, strength and hope to To other guys. You know we definitely utilize you with people that have similar stories because it's so impactful that you know you had every reason to give up and you didn't.
Speaker 1:It presents is that you have a really good game plan of how to take care of yourself while spending so much time Caring for others, and I'm curious if there have been times when your focus was on caring for others and you forgot about yourself. How have you gotten to the place where you have this strategy of getting up in the morning, prayer, meditation and reading?
Speaker 3:well, um, it was. It was told to me very early in recovery that I have to keep my program separate from work, that I cannot make work my program, that I have to go to my own meetings and Work my own program, get a sponsor still work the steps. I'm going through the steps again in narcotics anonymous, because my first sponsor was in heroin anonymous, and he took me through the big book. But, yeah, I just. There were times that I would put work in front of my recovery and Eventually I would be at a place where I was just empty and I couldn't pass on what was given to me, because I look at it that I'm like this, just a vessel, that when I'm empty I got to fill myself up with spirituality and recovery and so forth from the meetings, from step work, sponsorship, whatever, and then To pass it on To someone else that is in need. You know.
Speaker 1:So a lot of your life now is surrounded by Caring for others who are in recovery, and so I'm curious how do you know you'd be successful if you weren't working in recovery? I don't.
Speaker 3:I don't. I just Recovery is just a passion for me. Yeah, you know, I've always wanted to work in recovery. Eventually I want to be get my laid-back and become a therapist counselor, but I've just always had a passion for recovery because I've been through it. I know what it's like and I see the other side. It's kind of like going like I'm at a hill and I see what's over the hill and on the other side, and these people are stuck on one side and I'm like, hey, come on over.
Speaker 2:Looking over here.
Speaker 3:You know, and a lot of them won't, a lot of them can't, a lot of them don't, but the ones that do, it's very rewarding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think we see a lot of people come through and, chris, maybe you could speak to this better that when people graduate the program they're as quickly out the door as they can because they want to see life outside of recovery and to see that you have a mindset that like no, my life is really really good here and don't even have the curiosity to test what life looks like outside is. I think probably takes a lot of discipline to choose to stay where you're at.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was always told that if it works, don't fix it. That's fair.
Speaker 2:Well, and it's understanding that it's a marathon, not a sprint, right, you know, and it's easy, I've made that mistake years ago. Like I completed a program, like I'm good now, right, I'm cured. Like I've never went six months without using drugs or alcohol, I just did it, so I gotta be done.
Speaker 2:And I've rushed into my life thinking that you know, okay, all my problems are gonna be fixed because I didn't. I'm not using or drinking, because that's the only thing that caused me problems, or so I thought you know. But I learned that I love that we offer the alumni program because it is a transition period and there's no better. You know it's a safe environment to learn some life lessons, like finances. You know, even with that you got people around that you can reach out to help for from, and so it is. You know. I tell everybody. You know I stayed here a couple years and I'm still clean, sober today because I'm real good at planning. You know I'll make these plans. I'll have everything figured out for the next three years Right right.
Speaker 2:The only problem is is, when I've done that in my life, it's never worked out, you know. So it's for me, it's okay to be prepared, but I have to have that margin to allow God to be God, for me to be me, and so I learned that here. But it is a process. I wouldn't take that away. That second year of me being here was the most rewarding. I learned a lot. The first year, first six months I did, but, like I think I really started to learn to live life on life's terms. The second year, you know, and as an alumni, we have accountability too. It's not as strict, but it is. And then it gives people a chance to decide hey, do I wanna work in this? Is it like? Do I have a passion for this?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, Well, I'm extremely grateful for a restoration house. I tell people all the time it changed my life. I did the work, yeah, but I was in an environment that was safe, it was structured, it was planned out thoughtfully and that it gave me a shot. You know, because if I was to go anywhere else, like my own place, if I could afford it, or home, or my parents, I wouldn't have made it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm curious either one of y'all's take on this. When working in the helping profession, it becomes easy for us to identify our success in whether or not we've helped others, and so this happens a lot within my world as well, as I'm sure it does in y'alls, and so I'm curious what steps that you take and not finding your identity in how you've seen other people succeed.
Speaker 2:Well, it's a fine line because when you're working a 12-step program, the 12-step is carrying the message. Yeah, so that's part of how I've had long-term success is that desire to pass on all the wonderful things people that have given me. But working in recovery, like Brian mentioned he was talking about that vessel Well, it's easy for us to be emptied out by the time we get home, to be dry and we don't have anything else left in the tank for me, my family and things like that. And that's what's helped me deal with that is like I've got to hold some back for myself, because if I stop taking care of myself, I'm going to addictions at the door, waiting active addiction, but it is, and I've seen it through the years with other friends. I have that work in treatment.
Speaker 2:It is a big concern, that line trying to have boundaries. Like anybody, whether you're an actor or not, you've got to cut the have boundaries. You're not working on the weekend when you're with your family. I think that's crucial and I'll be here to tell you I've still got work to do on that Having. I'm a lot better than I used to be on it, used to be with it, but I've seen a lot of people fail because of that, not having those boundaries, getting your recovery out of your job because it kind of goes hand in hand, like you were saying, and I'm one of those people that always push look, there's your recovery and there's your job. Look, if you go work at Walmart tomorrow, guess what you're still recovering out of here, so you still got to do that.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter where you work, but luckily we have the blessing of being here and seeing people transform their lives. So you're right, it is a concern and there's a fine line there. But luckily for me, I've had people in my life that have went before me and done it and they told me that stuff early, or I think I might have failed for it I might have, but they were so adamant like this is great, but without balance it can hurt you. What do you think, brian?
Speaker 3:Well, I think that. Well, my head and my ego tells me that I help these people.
Speaker 3:But my heart tells me that God helped those people and I leave the results up to God, because if it was up to me I'd screw it up in a heartbeat. All I can do, like you said, chris, is just carry the message, just pass on what I was taught and then hopefully that'll grab, hold and plant a seed in them. But when I start taking credit for stuff and helping another addict, when I start taking credit for that, I'm in trouble. I got to know that God is the one who is healing them and bringing them to recovery and the results. If I start thinking that I've got this and I can heal anybody and I'm playing God, that's very dangerous for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I mean, chris, you've got to be careful Stated that like ensuring that you're leaving enough for yourself and your family at the end of the day and and ideally it's a great plan, but ten minutes before you walk out the door when something happens and you empty that tank or Brian, you live on on site and you preserve what you need to for the end of the day for yourself and and, like, what does it look like to be able to? At least for you, brian, living on site, to be able to say, yes, the people that you live with their recovery is important, but right now you have to say my recovery is my is most important.
Speaker 3:That's where the boundaries come in. That's where I have to say look, I know you're struggling with something, but let me find someone that can help you. Yeah, and then I have to take time out for myself, because I know that if I'm not full, then how am I supposed to pass on? You know you can't transmit something you don't have. So I mean, if I don't have it to transmit to someone else, how am I gonna help them if I'm empty, yeah? So yeah, I just gotta.
Speaker 2:And I think having a healthy workplace like you know that that that assists a lot. Like where we're very adamant about Dedicating time to yourself. Don't, if you're off, don't get involved Passing you know, tell us to go home.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got a boss. They'll come through here. Why are you still here? You know like it does help. You know it takes him the pressure off. When, when you work in an atmosphere that that everyone understands that you must be healthy to be at your best, you have to take care of you. But learning to say no, you know, and it's something I work on every day, you know, and it's okay to something everything doesn't is an emergency, like as a when I was an active addiction or even Early recovery. Everything that happened to me was a absolute emergency.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, it'd be times when I'd have something going on two weeks and I'd have to bug you to death to get an answer, because it was vital. But it wasn't gonna happen. And, and I remember that. So you know, sometimes when I'm dealing with Participants, you know, I explain it to them. Hey, this really is an emergency. Yeah you know. So it's like a work in progress. I tell you it's something you have to be aware of that.
Speaker 2:I have to be aware of day in and day out, because I feel the effects when I have not done that. I Feel it yeah it's my negativity. You know, you start start complaining about. You know and Compared to, my life is good. Yeah and after everything, I, you know, I've went through the mistakes. Like you know, it's hard press to find a reason to complain that, my gosh, I can find one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sometimes I don't know working profession. Sometimes I feel like the Joker and dark night when the house, when he blows up the hospital, and just walk away from a fire, like, just like, and I gotta go, like it's really not that big of a fire, it'll be here tomorrow. But sometimes I just feel like, just like, well, and I'm just gonna keep walking away because it's time for it's time for me, you know.
Speaker 2:And then you know when you, you know I went. I went four years with our relationship and you know I met my wife and and she puts up with a lot too she deserves having my attention, you know, you know I've told you she's in recovery too, so she understands these concepts and it's glad to have that accountability partner, whether it's wife or yeah, sponsor.
Speaker 2:I just like you, I can't do it by myself. And one thing I heard a old-timer a long time ago at a Conference where they was talking about carrying the message and said because that's in the day, that's, all we have is the message and that for some reason at that time it really struck me, you know, because, like you mentioned ego, you know can, can play a part. But when he said that I started applying that to every facet, like even at my job, like I tell myself that, you know, I didn't start the program, it's program be here, tomorrow.
Speaker 2:It's been helping people for years. I'm blessed to be part of what goes on and it helps keep me that balance. So I don't think I Of myself then I ought to Right, but I just learned so much through it for, and they don't even know me, you know, yeah. I just carried you know we're great recovery in still everybody stuff you can keep using.
Speaker 1:My dad always says that if he says something three times, you know he owns it.
Speaker 2:Well, brian. Thanks so much, man for being authentic, coming in, you know, sharing your strength and hope, thank you. That's why Trey and I wanted to do this is that we meet so many remarkable people and so many success stories and and just what? Just generally just wonderful people, and we want people to know that are struggling. Hey, it's not easy. In a lot of ways it's simple but it's not easy. But it's possible that you've not went too far, you have not exhausted, god's grace and mercy yeah, there's still some, if I can do it.
Speaker 3:I think anybody.
Speaker 2:I appreciate you come in, taking the time, really enjoyed hearing it. Like said, I've heard your story a few times and, and that's just a Piece of it, you know and you've talked, yeah, some of the crazy stuff we don't.
Speaker 1:Maybe later on we'll get a chance, kind of, let's just tell the whole thing yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah well, I mean, and we know that that addiction Is gonna get better when people are caring for people, and people are sharing their story, their strength and hope, and so we know every person's story is impactful and it matters, and so, brian, thanks for joining us today.