Unpolished Recovery
Unpolished Recovery fearlessly dives into the raw and unfiltered tales of triumph over addiction and alcoholism. We believe that true healing begins when we embrace our stories' messy, imperfect aspects. Whether you're someone seeking inspiration on your path to recovery, a friend or family member supporting a loved one, or simply a curious listener, this podcast offers eye-opening and uplifting insights.
Unpolished Recovery
Grasping Grace and Sobriety Elliot's Journey Beyond Addiction
Elliot's journey from the depths of addiction to the peaks of recovery embodies the very essence of transformation. Join us as we follow the footsteps of a Restoration House graduate whose tale of reconnection with his family through sobriety and divine grace unfolds. During our conversation, it became evident that trusting a higher power and the recovery process enables one not to cope with life but to engage with it.
Elliot illustrates that our most significant challenges often serve as the path toward aiding others. His beacon of hope stands tall, affirming that every story, every voice, has the potential to ignite hope and mend broken spirits.
Welcome back to Unpolished Recovery. My name is Trey. Most stories of recovery start with how bad addiction was, how they entered recovery and how great life is now. That's a polished story.
Speaker 2:My name is Chris. I'm your co-host of Unpolished Recovery. Our guest today is named Elliot, which I'm excited that he was able to come back and visit with us. Just to kind of set the theme. Elliot's a graduate of Restoration House. He has transitioned on his own, still continues to work a program involved in the recovery community actually sponsors people in our program too, so I was really excited when he agreed to do it. Elliot, do you want to kind of just tell us a little bit about yourself? Sure?
Speaker 3:Well, my name is Elliot. I'm originally from Charleston, south Carolina. I got here in Nashville I'm going to just go ahead by way of North Carolina. That's where I had moved to and stuff A little bit of myself Went to college. I've been married a couple of times, I have a daughter, a son, and I have four grandkids, and today they're all in my life and I owe all of that to the grace of God and the fellowship that I attend, which is AA. And then I got to definitely let you know that coming here to Restoration House and graduating and going through this program gave me a foundation to where it allowed me to just not exist. But I live today and I live clean and sober and I enjoy it to the fullest.
Speaker 2:Well put. We live today, so you would. Actually I have the luxury. Like most guests, I know the stories before coming in. That's why we use people that's come through Restoration House, because we have just an abundance of wonderful people with amazing stories just overcoming just terrible times and all the stuff. But I met you in the Davidson County Jail. How long did you attend classes there before you came here? Was it a year?
Speaker 3:It was almost a year. Yeah, I did 365 days in jail. So when I got the opportunity to get an application to come to Restoration House and then go through the BRIC program, I started and heard your story and just attended those classes and stuff. It really just set a foundation. One thing that happened those journals. I remember I'd ask you could I get some, and stuff like that. And I continue. I've got like three notebooks now. So that's been a big part of my recovery and just an opportunity just to let go.
Speaker 2:Well, I knew the first time I met you, when you first come in our basic recovery class, you chaired that. You had been in recovery, you were familiar, had some success, just made some. But you could just you can never predict what someone's going to do. I won't say that, but you can see defeat in someone Like you're one of those guys like I want this to work. Whatever I got to do, I'm all in and since day one you're asking for extra stuff. You were looking inward instead of outward and I could see the fire in you. But getting back to where so you'd worked a program, for how long did you stay clean?
Speaker 3:I've been in and out for years. I've been. I'm an addict and even though I went through my process of getting clean and sober through AA I just tell people I'm a straight addict but whatever worked and that worked for me because I heard my sponsors speak at a meeting, you know, and we just clicked. And so I've been in and out, in and out. This last time I had about two, a little over two years clean. But I'll tell you this right now, with, like, I got this gift of desperation this last time and what I realized now and then is like, deep down inside, I always knew I was going to use again, I was putting up with front and stuff. So this time I really said a prayer, I said God help me. And things just started happening. You know, meeting you being in brick, coming to restoration house, falling the rules to the best of my ability.
Speaker 3:It wasn't always easy. Yeah, I got a dart one time, but I knew full fact that regardless of what happened, I wasn't going to put no drugs, alcohol in it. So I started learning, you know, and I realized that. You know, I used to hear people say this years and years oh, the drugs and alcohol, or nothing but the symptoms and I was like really I got a problem. But then once I got in recovery, like this authentic recovery, I understand that I medicated on some things that was deep down inside that I wasn't willing to like look at. And that's me. So, you know, working with my sponsor, working through the steps, and then after I completed it, it was like man, I wanted to give back.
Speaker 3:So, getting sponsors continue going to meetings, doing service work with my home group, and my God, it just like showed up and showed out. You know, the promises says we'll be amazed. Before we're halfway through, I've got some stuff like right off the bat. And what I realized today, chris, is that you know, when I pray, you know I come from a church background. My parents were PK, so I was always talking man. You could pray anywhere. But for me today it's a difference. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is I get on my knees, you know, and it's a difference between just praying. You know I'm, I turn my will over to the care God every single day, because I know me and I, even though I'm clean and sober, and so I still- have issues, you know.
Speaker 3:But I realized today, Chris, that I do not have to drink a drug over nothing. You know what I mean. And so one of the greatest gifts is that gifts of desperation, but just to be able to show up today in people's lives, that I love and love me. It's amazing man I'm talking about like truly amazing. Week after last, my son is 17 years old, chris. I had not seen him since he was like one and a half. I flew out to Orlando, florida, and watched him play in this tournament. I'm talking about the first day, the first game, the first game about five minutes. I'm hoarse and stuff. He had his bags packed. He stayed with me the whole time and man, god, just like you know, restored that with me and him. It's like man, that's amazing. So, you know, in the same thing with my daughter and my grandkids, we talk every day. They call me grandpa and I'm like, wow, you know.
Speaker 3:And before I got here to Davidson County, man, when I got locked up because of warrants here, man, I was living down the bridge in Charlotte, north Carolina, drinking and smoking crack every day for years. And so, you know, I tell people at the time it's like look, it works. If you work it Today, I understand what that means. You know I used to be like what are they talking about? But it's like getting a sponsor doing the step, work, um, and developing things that when life shows up because it does, it does. I have tools, I have things that you know, I rely on. I trust God. I talk to my sponsor every day. Y'all taught me that, having sponsors, I just don't want to be talking and, yeah, I want to show them living it, you know. So that's very big and that's why, you know, when I met you, I was just like wow, I already knew that, like we just clicked because, like you know, some people say the spirits or whatever, but you know, real, recognized, real, and so it's just been an awesome journey.
Speaker 3:Things that are going on with me man, like Friday. Normally I work on Fridays, but I'm not this Friday. I'm going to get my license here in Tennessee. About a month ago I was coming out my Saturday morning meeting and the gentleman was like Elliot, can I talk to you? I was like sure, he's like man, I just love the way you share. You've always like encouraged me. I see you out here working with Sponsies. He said well, I'm about to go buy a new car. And he was like I just feel like you can use it and God told me to give you this car. So he gave me a car. So I'm like, wow. So, man, that's just, I call it my blessing car. And you know I had it, but I refuse to drive or do anything until I got my license. And you know I just wanted to, I will, I'll do things. That's right today, you know I don't try to be sneaky and stuff. So, um, that's something new for me too, man. So you know life is great and I don't take no, I mean, I know I put in the work, whatever, but if it hadn't been for God, I mean, you know, I gotta plug this in with restoration house.
Speaker 3:My mother was a preacher and and in her things she would always talk about restoration. So when I first got here, when I told my siblings, I said y'all never guess what the name of this place is. It's called restoration. And I was like, wow, so I have a older sister's got like coming up on 21 years, clean, she's like into recovery, she's a clinical psychologist and she has a Side business to helping people. Is called restoration, one-stop. So you know, um, I'm just eternal grateful.
Speaker 3:I tell people like I'll never Say nothing bad about restoration on, and I won't allow other people to say it because let's like Y'all gave me an opportunity, y'all gave me a chance to come here and like, um, get a foundation, the bridges and stuff. I was like, wow, that really Helped me. And I tell people all the time to really get a program of recovery, if you, buck, or you have a problem with the spiritual side, you really have to let go and let God you have to find, did people say, a power? I'll grade it in yourself. And that is so true because, like I Don't think the way, I think no more, and I don't what to say y'all have.
Speaker 3:When I go through my feelings, I don't let what I feel dictate what I do today, mm-hmm. And so you know, when I got back from Florida, I had a situation with my son's mother I'm talking about awesome time just like priceless and just that quick man, a double shoulders head, and like I wasn't perfect at the time, I Snapped and I was like whoa, and the first thing I did was call my sponsor. Well, the second thing I do is call my sponsor. First thing, I was like God forgive me, and then I made amends, even though it wasn't my fault, but I took this responsibility. It's like you know what I'm not gonna allow what God has for good, because of my attitude or whatever. It's like you know I have no control over people, places and things today, and I truly understand that today and that's that's a blessing to.
Speaker 2:I'm one of those guys that struggle with the spiritual aspect. You know that. You know I knew best. You know, and it worked out just wonderful. I'll tell you that now 20, some felonies, but today, like just being that concept that hey, there's a force out there that's not limited by my imperfection, my defects, who's fully capable of running the world, don't need my help. You know, I used to fight against that, but today I'm like well, I tried to run the world. I wasn't really good at it.
Speaker 2:You know, I didn't have qualifications, but it's a load off today that I don't have to have it figured out. You know that I have a higher power that Runs the world. I just have to do my part. Show up every day, you know, do the things that it takes to continue to be humble. Keep that fire, that desperation. I think that's one reason why I connect with you. We kind of similar, you know, wish we had got this one.
Speaker 2:I know it but you know we had a lot of lessons and research to do, but that we had experienced some success. We seen the stuff that we were doing, work, but we were just missing that desperation. I tell everybody that's the magic ingredient. That was why I got it when I did is because I finally got desperate enough to Be open to suggestions, quit trying to figure it all out Listen, people knew better and then just practice some basic steps, going to meetings, and then I'm old country boy, I don't fix stuff, it ain't broke right, it's still working. I'm gonna keep doing it because I I can't afford to take any chances with it anymore and you know, you know, you just always been that guy like you always had this slide about you. People see it, you know, and that's why I was glad our schedules. Finally, because I know you're a hard worker and Did you have questions right?
Speaker 1:Elliot, I'm well just to let you know where we're at. You've worked out of the order of our typical prompt because you went straight in and told us about the the joys of life today, and I'm really, I really love hearing that. So I'm curious what's noticeably different about you today? Because I'm guessing that you haven't always had this joy about life, noticeably loving what your life today. What's different now? Or like, or can you tell us about like, what was the Elliot that we don't know?
Speaker 3:I have had people in my life like significant others, like some of the names, that Elliot, old summer been large bear the Elliot, that was like I Would use the word scurvy. I was a liar, a cheater, a manipulator, couldn't be trusted. I Hurt people and Today I Understand that. First of all, everything I went through it wasn't for me, it was because God knew I can handle it. So I know that everything I went through is to help someone else. Today, and the most notable thing that's different, um, I show up today. Um, I Wow, that's a good question.
Speaker 3:It's just like I don't want the pain, no more. That pain is like, ooh, like when I told y'all I lived under a bridge. I'm talking about like lived under a bridge with rats and stuff and coming down that bridge from under it, thinking that was normal, that the disease and the lifestyle had me like really confused and I've always had people that I was like man. I tell them I'm homeless and this and that and like really, and like you know. So I started having to believe in myself and that came from trusting God and then trusting the process and so forth. You know, my sponsor always tell me it's like you know, I only just stay out of God's way, you know. But well, don't you know? So it's just when they talk about a simple program for complicated people, I know what they're talking about.
Speaker 2:Fair enough, we got a program full of that. This one clue to the guy. But you know, I think when you tell that stuff, the word that kept popping through my head is freedom, very old Freedom. You know, one time we think we're free because we're doing whatever we want, you know, but this is responsible freedom. That's what I hear when you tell those things. You're free to feel, but you don't have to react to it. You're free to make a positive impact.
Speaker 2:I tell people all the time negativity is contagious. Yeah, you can count on it. There's. Positivity is contagious too. It is, you know, and I have to decide every day who am I gonna be? And I believe all that stuff we had to work through it, you know, and I know you have, because you worked a program as well. Is that that wasn't who we intended to be? Mm-mm, definitely not. Today we're closer to who we were created to be. This is the real us. It's still a process of getting to know that, I think, for all of us. I think there's plenty of, like you said, life happens. They don't need your permission, you know, but we can get better suited to take, you know, the punches and being able to get through it and stuff around it or running through it. So you know, I've seen the growth in you but like when you come in, you were ready. You never gave up. You know one difficulty Cause.
Speaker 3:One thing I know is the enemy don't when you ain't gonna let you walk away free and clear.
Speaker 2:No, it's not. So. You know, I've learned that in my life. That's why I know I'm doing really good is when the hospitals come the. You know it's living contrary to the world that we lived in before and I believe we're better suited today to take those challenges. So you know, I just I talked to someone in my class today and he reminded me of you a little bit.
Speaker 2:It's just weird. You know you come today how things work out and I said I've got somebody I want you to meet when you get out. I think you're gonna be able to really connect with him. I said you know up to you whether you in him, whether you wanna ask him to sponsor you, but I think you'll see exactly where you're coming from. But he was a guy similar, you know, a smart guy. He didn't end up in addiction because of lack of intelligence or moral fiber, you know it. Just the city we learned to start dealing with life, with chemicals and. But you know I'm so glad that you're working with some of our guys that I want them to catch that desperation and you know, the fact that you're not here.
Speaker 2:you were here about nine months, 10 months, and then you know you transition and, if you don't mind me saying, like your roommate's in recovery too and you kind of you know, still actively involved. What would be so if you had to get it down to just a quick list, like the things? You're not in a program anymore, you're living life. What are those key things that you have to continue to do on to keep this momentum going?
Speaker 3:Okay for me. I'm always saying this first, trust God. I go to meetings on a regular. I continue. I like if I get three meters a week, I'm like, oh, I continue to call my sponsor. I pray every day. I journal every morning and night, I read like the big book, I read the Bible and they go hand in hand with me. You know I get involved with service work, you know, and I just stay out of God's way.
Speaker 3:You know this is like every single day, every day, because I don't take it for granted. I know that I've been given. I've been living two lifetime, two life in my lifetime, you know. And so you know we're calling my family and siblings. You know my uncle in Charleston just celebrated 80 years. His birthday was Saturday so a lot of family members came from everywhere. I wasn't able to make it but you know I called them and my uncle told me he's like you know what he said.
Speaker 3:I've always kept you my prayers and stuff and that was so like that meant a lot to me. You know I have nieces and nephews, and grandies and nephews like we talk on a regular. You know it's just a joy and you know to hear people tell me it's like, man, we're proud of you, we always knew it was in you and stuff. And I was like you know what that's better than like anything I've ever experienced. You know, instead of like them hiding from me or me hiding from them, you know, it's just, it's just amazing. You know very amazing. And you know I would all to God into the fellowship and I tell you, restoration house y'all have like wow, it's like a family. You know, definitely. You know, when I graduated and you know, you know I was leaving Pasadena told me it's like, don't be a stranger. So I was like, wow, that meant a lot to. So you know, I see a lot of guys and meetings and stuff or just all. So it's just, it's great, man, to see them still doing what they're supposed to do and stuff.
Speaker 3:And you know we've had some that fall and you know, when you get close to people in recovery, it's like, oh, you think, man, I wish I could have said something, but then I realized it's like that's their process, man, they got to go through it. Man, you know it's a harsh reality. They say some people got to die for us to live. And you know, I don't wish nobody to die but, like you know, we have once for me. Once I accepted this, like I don't want it no more. I don't want to like, hurt myself no more. I had to do something different. So you know what I mean. I know I'll let go, I did get high and get things, whatever.
Speaker 3:But how do you keep it? And so today, chris, the joy that I have, the peace that I have, it doesn't come from having a job, having a place to live, having a bank account, a car, now having my kids in my life. It does. It comes from just, it comes from God. It comes from really knowing that he's kept me and he kept me for a reason. So I want to fulfill that it's. You know die will be done, so wish it will for me, god. So that's a daily prayer for me.
Speaker 1:Curious. It sounds like you've pretty much perfected your recovery journey, or at least getting close to it and making the steps to be successful every day. I'm curious like when did that aha moment happen that you said that you found that gift of desperation you're talking about?
Speaker 3:Shoot. Today I'm coming up on two years, march 30th so March 30th of what? 2022, whatever the day they put them cuffs on me and, like you, got warrants in Tennessee and when I sat in that police car and I'm leave my head on that window and I was like God, help me, I can't do this, no more. And it wasn't the fact that get me out of jail or whatever it's like really, man, like help me, and so having to sit in jail for all those days or whatever they say, god will do for you what you can do for yourself. So it's probably that first night and then, as the process went in, the days when I just Developed this routine of just like Taking time out of my day and reverence and God and then putting things in me that when the life shows up, I'm able to lean back on it and stuff.
Speaker 3:You know what that gratitude list? Am I truly grateful for my family, my friends, life, health and strength? And the answers is yes, so I don't want to lose that. So every day, when I don't put no drugs and alcohol with me and that ain't even an issue, no more it's like I didn't hurt nobody, had to use nobody, and I Live to the best of my ability, with the help of God. So when I go to bed and I wake up, it's like man. I want some more of that, and so I live like that, one day at a time. That's a concept that I just love. You know, I plan and I do things, but I live for today and then I try to make it a productive day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have you struggled any in keeping that same structure, like I'm sure that you had the opportunity to keep the structure when you were in and then had the opportunity to keep that structure here when it was a part of your Accountability of being here. But now you don't have that accountability and I do it. Yeah, I Would you say it's not a responsibility, it's a love.
Speaker 3:Now, it's a love. It is. I like that. It is a. It's a. I mean I man, when I get up and hit my knee, whatever it's like, I got my Notebook, my Bible, my big book, my 12 and 12. I have other spiritual books and stuff and they're right there, so we call it a new way to live.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's why we found a new way to live.
Speaker 1:And it sounds like those are as essential as eating every day for you.
Speaker 2:I do that before I Tell you one thing there ain't much More depressing than leaving one jail to go to another one. I know from personal experience you finally get out just to go to another one. That, right there, that's a good indication. I probably need to change something, you know, and but they're all the same ain't a good jail out there, you know. So there is a bad, and I think that I think you actually gave it a chance To build a life that was worth protecting. You know we didn't always have that idea and when I was actively using and living that, you know it's.
Speaker 2:It's hard every day. You know, to be motivated when you Don't have hope, and you know going to a program gives you stability and then you start to build things. You know like, hey, this is the easier, softer, general way. This is so much better, you know, and but it takes a minute, you know it does. Hang in there, leaning on people, leaning on God. You know believing in those promises. You know that.
Speaker 2:You know it's amazing to me that the people never gave up on me, including, you know, god, that cuz I gave up on me. So there was a lot and that's got to feel good. All that family that never gave up. That you know, knew you could do it and they were there waiting on you did. You know that's got to be rewarding. You know to have that, but you know it's hard to see it in yourself. But like anybody that interacts with you, seeing what you, your potential, you know If you could just get your feet underneath you, you know, and I personally think You're just in them again and I think God's got some things in store for you that maybe you're not even imagining yet. Now, my life.
Speaker 3:Built that way.
Speaker 2:You know, at first I just glad I wasn't drinking and getting high, you know. And then, you know, fast forward a few years. I have a lot today that I'm like man, I never knew this was in the card, what else is he gonna do? You know, you get up, you excited, like like you said, you know the the truth is far better. You know, like, so you know, I'm grateful you came in today. You know I'm gonna Definitely look for more opportunities to get you involved in the program and and so that you can give back.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, a lot of people say and they do that they're grateful that we give them a chance and we're happy too. You know that's how I make it. Another day is I try to extend a hand to someone else. That's, you know, struggles in some areas I do. But a lot of times they don't realize is that it's a blessing for you to have come through here to us, because it's a tough business. You know, if you look at the statistics, they're not Promising we all know that recovery. So we go. You know we we deal with a lot of people and those that handful of people that take it and receive it and then they go give it Like that's the fuel that we get to keep doing this when we do lose somebody, because it does hurt. We know it doesn't have to be that way, but they have their journey too. So it's when people like you and some of the other people we've had on the podcast come through, that's our fuel to keep doing this. That's a that's proof that, hey, this is worth it.
Speaker 2:You know you never know when you plan to see like you're talking about. You know you talk to someone. You know they go back out. But I know this everybody had ever talked to me when I was in and out, in and out. I never forgot about it. I never forgot them. I remember when I finally was ready, I remembered everything. They told me yes, like you said, those are all moments You're like is that what they meant? Oh, why didn't I get this 20 years ago? I'm gonna save myself, but you know I was ready when I was ready. So you know I'm grateful that God led you to our program. I'm glad you left a mark on our program. I hope you realize you did.
Speaker 2:You know the recovery is up and down. Being in a program ain't no different. But you left a mark, you know, and At least definitely with me. You know I see you doing well. It makes me want to go into the jails more, you know it wants me to work with people more, because you know there's other people that are ready to change. I have that desperation. They just need the opportunity, you know. So I appreciate you. I appreciate you coming in and sharing your joy with people and telling them what life's like now. Um, because it is a it's a lifelong journey. It doesn't stop when people graduate. Like you said, there's work to be done, you know. So. I hope people today hear that that hey, man, he just got started. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Uh, we know that addiction is not going to get better with tougher laws. It's going to get better from people like elliot sharing their story and being willing to help others, and so we know that every person's story is important, is impactful and it matters. Thanks for joining us today.