Unpolished Recovery
Unpolished Recovery fearlessly dives into the raw and unfiltered tales of triumph over addiction and alcoholism. We believe that true healing begins when we embrace our stories' messy, imperfect aspects. Whether you're someone seeking inspiration on your path to recovery, a friend or family member supporting a loved one, or simply a curious listener, this podcast offers eye-opening and uplifting insights.
Unpolished Recovery
Gift of Desperation: Kristen and David's Recovery
Kristen emerged from jail with no clear path forward, only to find purpose and stability through a recovery program that provided the structure he needed. David also discovered this new sense of freedom through the same program, embracing the responsibility that comes with progression through its levels. Join us as we hear Kristen and David's inspiring journeys of transformation, where the crucial first 30 days of recovery set the stage for profound personal growth and self-improvement.
Welcome back to Unpolished Recovery. My name is Trey. Most stories of recovery start with how bad addiction was, how an individual entered recovery and how great life is now. That's a polished story.
Speaker 2:My name's Chris. I'm your co-host of Unpolished Recovery. We actually have two guests today, two alumni and graduates of the program. We have Kristen and David with us, so I appreciate you guys coming on and last-minute notice. So how long have you been here, kristen?
Speaker 3:I've been here almost seven months.
Speaker 2:And Dave, how long. So both of you have been graduated for at least a few weeks now and kind of what's different today versus the day you walked in? Like what's different today versus the day you walked in. Like what's different about you.
Speaker 3:Oh, absolutely everything. From when I first got here I was coming out of jail I really had no idea where I was going to go, what I was really going to do no job, no car, no money, absolutely no plan whatsoever other than get to the halfway house and even that was flat with its own difficulties of when I was going to get out. I wasn't sure I was surprised by getting out. So, coming here, I just came here and buckled down and kind of just took everything literally day by day and to just kind of do the right thing each day so that the next day would do better than the day I had before, and kind of work through things.
Speaker 2:What about you, dave? What's different today versus the day you come in? Oh, that was the question. Yeah, you're close enough. Okay, cool, cool. I think it's crazy, like when I interview guys and stuff like that, you know I'm like, oh, this, this one's got potential, you know. But I really don't know what's going through that individual's head. You know what their process is like and uh, um, I actually have told y'all before, I did the program myself, so I know what that process is like showing up, you don't know anybody. I don't know if I was half expecting it to be like jail and the other half was like treatment, but it was nothing like I expected. But you was the program, what you expected, or completely different, or both.
Speaker 3:Um, I think I had a fair idea of what things were going to be like from being in your class when I was in jail. Um, kind of an idea, but still mind-blowingly different. Um, look, when I first got here, I was given a certain amount of freedom. You know, I'm actually really thankful that there are levels one, two and three. If I different. Look, when I first got here, I was given a certain amount of freedom. You know, I'm actually really thankful that there are levels one, two and three.
Speaker 3:If I had been able to go to a three or alumni day one out of jail never would have made it. There's not a shot. I just, I just wouldn't. No, if I, if I had been allowed to drive day one, I'd have been gone. You know, I mean I just. But over time you just learn to like get along with people. It becomes your environment. You make friends, you find reasons why you're where you're supposed to be and doing what you're supposed to be doing. You start working the steps. You got things to do. You know you can't run off. You got responsibilities at some point. You know, I don't know, it's just, it kind of just happens to you. Change is kind of one of those things where it just happens and sometimes you look back and go hey look, I changed, you don't?
Speaker 2:really even see it while it's going on. I think, what about you, dave? Anything that you, was it like what you expected or not? Mm-hmm, definitely an adjustment. Yeah, when, how long were dave? How long were you here when you? Actually how long did it take, I guess, to say like, hey, man, things are changing, things are getting better, I'm right where I need to be, or whatever that process was for you?
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm kristen.
Speaker 1:You were nodding your head in agreement about that 30.
Speaker 3:I kind of was um I, I tell people the first 30 days is that bullshit? Just do it. Just just let it happen for you. You know, don't fight the system. Just just be where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there, be micromanaged, feel the pressure of the micromanaging system. It's just part of the process. You know, eventually you'll get into a routine and things will feel more comfortable. But you know, give it 30 days. You know, if you got to give it 30 days, if you try, after two weeks every guy sounds the same they hate it, or it's the best thing in the world. You know they're already super gung-ho. They're going to graduate tomorrow. They're ready now, you know. Or they just hate it, you know.
Speaker 3:Well, I tell them I'll just settle in yourself, take your time. You know you got nothing but time. Right now You're at the only place I can think of where you can actually work on what you've got going on and the rest of the world kind of just stops for a little while. You know, yeah, no one's rushing you, yeah, and a lot of guys will come in and they talk about they want to contact their family and do this and that, and I tell them all the same thing. I say look, just be about you right now. Your family's all going to be there. You're not able to help you're. You're building yourself back up and even just talking to them, all you're going to do is hear their problems and what they've got going on and Aunt Susie's sick and all these different things that you've got to deal with. And you need to deal with what you've got going on right now, especially in that first 30 days.
Speaker 2:So yeah, now you guys come to us like two different routes. Like you had mentioned, I teach a weekly class at the local jail, which is basic and intensive recovery, and, dave, you were referred to us and we just got to talk on the phone. Do you think that was an advantage for you, kristen, to be able to be in class and hear about the program?
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. Even. You know, when I was in jail I really hadn't especially had no idea what was going on Like this was literally the first lifeline I had seen. While you know, since prior to going to jail, you know, even before months before I went to jail, I needed something had to happen. You know I was going to end up dead, but it was the first lifeline and I just grabbed on to it and I think that guys who appreciate that and see that I can see we were talking earlier about that I can see when those guys come in that they're appreciative and they get it, you know, pretty quickly. But yeah, but the class kind of set me up for success. I had already worked some of the paperwork done steps one, two and three on paper. I've already had done a relapse prevention plan. I didn't have to wait as a sanction to do one, I had already done one and it was actually really helpful that I had already done one. I've used some of the stuff that I actually wrote on that as part of my recovery.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so some of those things you did in the program as a part of my recovery and uh, so yeah, yeah yeah well, the reason I was asking is, like so, from an outside perspective, someone that works for the program and, uh, I've had interaction with both you like, even though it was different referral sources, you both like came in like, hey, what do I got to do? I just want to do what I'm supposed to. Neither one of you ever had any major discipline issues. Like you were learning the ropes. You may have had some petty you know raps I can't even remember there were so few, but both of you have, you know, done great. You know riots I can't remember there were so few, but both of you have, you know, done great. You know, and and I was telling Dave earlier, like you fall in the same category, like you're a positive, you have a positive impact on our program.
Speaker 2:New people coming in, uh, cause, you know, I might interview them and I give them the rundown, mostly just so they know the expectations. You, you know, like it's not every program, this is not for everyone. You really gotta be willing to go to different lengths to be able to get better here. So it was just always fascinates me like this person come from here, but they both did well and uh, do you think, dave, you mentioned that like going ahead and getting a hitting the ground running with recovery. Do you think that was an advantage for you coming in here like you're already starting in treatment? You had already started on step work some of the things we do here. Did it better prepare you for your time here? Mm-hmm, kind of got familiar with the recovery mindset, right. Um, you had mentioned before um, had you ever been in worked a recovery program prior to coming to restoration house? What about you?
Speaker 3:had you no, I haven't worked a recovery program. I was um sober. I I got sober the day they put handcuffs on me and so Convenient.
Speaker 3:Yeah, exactly. And so what's that? Once you're in a whole quick digging situation yeah, I was in that situation, and so I think maybe my mind had already started the recovery process. I wasn't like detoxing and all these things, as I once. I once I met Chris and got into the brick program, so I was ready for a change.
Speaker 3:And I think that you know they talk in the rooms about the gift of desperation. I was there, you know, and I think that, um, when, when you've alienated the entire world and there's nobody that is there to help you, and somebody says, hey, I have a plan, I have an idea. Why don't you try this? You grab on. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:And once you you know I burned every bridge there was to burn out there. So I mean, my options were none, you know. Uh, so once I saw an option and I was like, okay, we're going to have to do that. That's where we're at, you know. And then once I realized, by being in the program and stuff, how many bridges I burned and how many options I had taken away from myself or removed in my life based on my actions, it made it a lot easier just to fall into the mold of doing what's expected and conduct myself the way that I'm expected to conduct myself, the way I said I would when I came here, fun fact for our listeners we had started a conversation with David and then technology hijacked it and then kristen hijacked it.
Speaker 1:now we have four people, but, david, you were kind of sharing the same thing about, like when you arrived, you just became this sponge, and I'd love for you to share that again. All right, hadn't?
Speaker 4:been productive in life. It always was the same situation, the same answers, and it just wasn't working out. So I got a sponsor. I tried to do things on my own and that was pretty smart, but what I did on my own got me here. So I started listening and that's just.
Speaker 1:Well, that's a big deal to get to a place where the risk you take when something goes wrong, that they're not dire consequences.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was actually thinking about that the other day. I was like all right, what's the worst-case scenario?
Speaker 1:I'm sober.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to relapse over anything that happens today. You know what I mean. And actually it provides freedom and confidence to do some things. I know that I'm not going to do anything that's going to risk what I've got going on. So they're just minor things. You know you can be friendly to somebody at work you may not normally talk to or take a chance on making a friend with somebody you don't see eye-to-eye with immediately or something like that. Because what's the worst-case scenario? You know I'm not going to use over it, I'm not going to relapse over it, I'm not going to jeopardize my program over it. So I can take these chances and risk having a little more confidence than, say, when I first got here I was very like, okay, Somebody would say something like yep, you and me aren't going to be friends, I'm going to be over here doing this thing and just kind of move different. But now it's a little more able to help somebody else along.
Speaker 2:I think, and I think too, it's learning responsible freedom. We can do anything that we want to, but not everything is productive for us. You know in the past like everything sounded like a good idea until I got called or I got locked up. But I do think, and I think the mistakes that I the big. I tell people all the time that the mistakes I make today don't cost me three to six years of my life. The mistakes I learned today are mostly learning experiences like okay, well, that didn't work out, let me do it this way, so I don't feel like my whole life's in balance every day yeah, it's.
Speaker 3:It's a whole different set of consequences when the worst thing I can say is well, well, yep, that happened, keep it moving. You know like, yep, my bad, not going to do that again. Let's learn, keep it moving, you know, but it doesn't really. There's no life costs, there's no burning of the bridges anymore or any of that stuff. Yeah, so I had I wanted to say something about. You had mentioned Chris, you had said something about freedom and the freedom to make choices and things like that.
Speaker 3:I can remember and this might sound odd to somebody but the scariest day that I had in the program was the day that I downloaded the Uber app. Before then I could make mistakes, but they were going to be on a bus line, I was going to be walking there, walking back, whatever it was going to be, but I downloaded Uber and I was like, oh, I can literally go anywhere. I was like I'm just going to stay home and sit this out for a little while. I'm not ready for all that. Like I can't emphasize enough how the levels I'm a huge fan, like I needed those levels. Like, all right, I, I'll be in at 8.30. I got some paperwork to do and that's it for me. You know, I just moderated myself enough until I could learn some life skills again to recognize problem areas and just stay away from it and out of it.
Speaker 3:So but yeah, freedom Day was the day I downloaded Uber and then I bought a car and it wasn't a big shock Like I could have gone everywhere the day before, so it really didn't have a detrimental impact like I know that it could have, you know. But but on my relapse prevention plan even the one I did in jail on there was, um, uh, recognizing that when I gain and get a lot of stuff money, a car and stuff like that to be weary of that kind of stuff makes me want to go show it off or go back to old haunts and look how good I'm doing and all that. So those are all my relapse prevention plan of things that I have to be aware that my ego will take over and try to get me to drive that place and I can't do it. I'm not built like that, I'm just going to survive it.
Speaker 1:I think this is an obvious question. But have you always either of you? Have you always either of you? Have you always thought so much about the decisions you're making?
Speaker 3:No, I actually. I actually sat melancholy for a while going, hey God, why didn't you give me the ability to understand consequences? Like I really thought, like I don't know, I just skated by so much or felt like I was, you know, until it all comes crashing down. I really was like there's no consequences, like the consequences have never been horrific until this last time, losing everything and then taking a good look at that. But before that I mean I was literally like those rules don't apply to me. I mean, those apply to people who can't bounce back. You know so.
Speaker 2:Is that the process, would you say, of hitting rock bottom, or you know?
Speaker 3:Yes, I hope so that better have been rock bottom I've always been good.
Speaker 2:Once I hit that I just get a shovel, you know. But I'm hoping those days are way behind me. But uh, we're talking about dave with recovery, like what are some of the things you've gained from working on program? You had said not really been in a work to program before and then you started here. What's some of the things you believe that that's given you?
Speaker 3:Dave's family is in my life too. I went to Thanksgiving with Dave. You can see me if you look closer at the photo.
Speaker 1:I'm in the background you expressed that your family had separated themselves from you, I fell farther away from them.
Speaker 2:You had said before, kind of that process for you too was like you stopped blaming everyone else, like you, just like, hey, some accountability, like my decision, my decisions made this way, I've got to do something different. Uh, you had mentioned that earlier. Uh, what about you? Uh, kristen, what's some of the stuff that recoveries give you?
Speaker 3:no, I absolutely agree, it's usually dave's fault. No, um, uh, you know what it's given me a confidence rather than an arrogance Like I used to be able to walk around with like a bravado, like things weren't wrong but they really were, you know. But now I'm actually more comfortable, you know, not just kind of edging my way through things. You know what my morality is. Back that's something like I really didn't care about the rules. You know, I played fast and loose with the rules my whole life. You know, as far back as I can remember and being sober and having about 19 months clean and some stuff accumulating and friends that I trust and I like to be around. I just never want to go back to that and I think dishonesty played such a huge role in my past life that that'll eat me up.
Speaker 3:So now, if you know, dave is my friend. You know, if there's something that I don't like that he's done or whatever, we just talk about it. You know, I would have never done that before. I would have just chalked it, you know, and it would have just been like I would have put a distance between us, you know, and then over time that distance gets greater and greater. But now my friendships are really important to me. So I want that gap to be closed. You know I don't want those things anymore. And, um, sometimes Dave is my test dummy. You know, like I don't know, I'll just, yeah, I'll have conversations with him and be like, hey, I don't really like this, you know. And then you know we'll sit down and talk about, you know, accountability and what my role is in it and those things are actually important to me. You know, not putting it on somebody else. You know, for me to really kind of do what I'm supposed to be doing on my side of the street.
Speaker 2:Well, in early recovery relationships you know there's a big part, there's a fine line could go either way. You know you can get, you hope to get hooked up with the right people. They're like-minded, serious about recovery, and then there's the individuals are just doing what they have to and that's just where they're at. It's not a judgment thing. But how do how do you determine that? I mean, is it, like you said, especially in this program, you guys being alumni serving as peer leaders, like you see people come in like for your own recovery, do you keep a distance until you know they've proven they're safe, or like, how do you navigate through that?
Speaker 3:I think I think generally by gauging somebody's response to my healthy boundaries, like I have, you know, things that matter to me and their response, in the way they interact with me, once they understand what matters to me, kind of really tells me what they're about. You know, if my boundaries aren't important to somebody else, then you know, I keep my distance. You know, and don't get me wrong. I mean I have kept my distance from a couple of people who have just gained in growth here and stuff like that over time, you know, and I reevaluated those friendships, you know. But yeah, what about?
Speaker 2:you, dave. What do you do to try to navigate through that? Well, before I go into the amount of effort that I see people putting in, if it's progressive I'm willing to stick around. You know, it took effort for me, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, okay.
Speaker 3:Okay, I've noticed too that if somebody doesn't really talk about recovery in normal situations that they have going on in their life, I kind of shy away from them. Maybe it's just the stage where I'm at right now. But me, dave and a few of our other friends we talk about, we try to recovery everything. He'll say hey, do you want to hear it from the recovery point of view? Yeah, hit me with it. It's just kind of how our conversations go, you know, it's kind of what we're into and if, if that Embracing a lifestyle.
Speaker 3:Right, and if it doesn't seem like somebody else is like ready to embrace that lifestyle, for whatever reasons they have, going on, I can feel myself putting a little distance between myself and them too, it's you know.
Speaker 1:I'm it's, you know. I'm curious how uh those, since you're both in program leadership, now how you navigate that distance while fulfilling your role in in supporting other people in their recovery journey a lot of issues are just simply a black and white issue.
Speaker 3:When you're, when you're, you know they're written down, thankfully. Yeah, it's not my opinion, it's not my choices.
Speaker 3:You know they're written down thankfully, it's not my opinion, it's not my choices. You know, everybody here has signed a piece of paper saying that they wanted to be here and that they were going to follow certain guidelines, and my job as a lead is, when they don't follow those guidelines, to point them out and go from there. On the other hand, though, sometimes you also want to help them work through some stuff, and that can be a little tricky, because now you're entering in your opinion into things and they're two very different things. My opinion of something and the rules can be very different. They're not often, but they can be very different. I can understand somebody's perspective or why they did what they did, and feel for them and be compassionate for them. On the other hand, you broke the rules. It's not up to me. The rules are written the way they're written.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm guessing their response to that kind of dictates how much just moral support you can provide.
Speaker 3:It really does. It really does and you know what, sometimes people come here and they have some struggles and they really get through it and they just become really great participants. And so you can't tell. You just can't tell. I mean, first 30 days are tough on everybody, I think, when they get here and you can't really sort out who somebody's going to be long term. And it's also another thing to give everybody the opportunity to not be the person they were when they got here. If you, if you just stick them to who, whatever box you put them in when they get here, or even after a month or two months or three months, you're not really giving them a fair chance to grow and you're not really accepting the world for what the world is at that time. You know it's. I hope that makes sense, yeah.
Speaker 2:And Dave, do you? Is it hard to protect yourself and still do the duties of being a peer leader? Because that's what it is You're helping guys with the stuff that you learned. Is that difficult, or?
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:You think it's easier to ask for help today versus, say, when you come in?
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm no.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 4:Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:I tell people all the time that learning a new way isn't centered around not using a drink. It's that I'm dealing with life differently than I ever have before. I'm willing to ask for help. You know that was the hardest thing for me coming in you know early recovery.
Speaker 2:It's like if I'm asking for help, does that mean I'm not as serious? Does that mean that I'm weak, or does it mean I'm not going to make it? Like all these things I get in my head that disease-riddled brain I have. It'll distort my view of things and I depend on other people to kind of help me sort that out.
Speaker 3:So do you believe today that you've got the people around you to help you do that? I believe so. I know that I've struggled with now and more recently now that I've graduated the program and stuff where for some reason in my head at first it makes it harder for me to ask for help. I feel like I should know some shit you know. But then then I'll take a moment and realize, okay, I do need to ask these questions, I need to find out. Uh and again, when it's program related, it's it's not my opinion. A lot of times it's it's the way the program's set up. You know, it's just a matter of getting clarity for what the rules are and stuff. But, um, but my opinions, you know I will bounce them off of friends. Now I have friends that I can trust their ideas and their opinions 99% of the time, and so that's really nice to have. It can really help Center me and and get me out of myself and realize that I'm not in this by myself or doing this alone.
Speaker 3:I think that's a big portion of it too is is we're not doing this alone by any means. You know, yeah, I really have sympathy and empathy for guys that come here and they don't get a band of people put together that they feel like they can trust and work with and ask questions and bounce ideas off and and get good feedback from. I think that's been crucial for me.
Speaker 4:It really has been yeah, I still don't like asking for him, I still don't like like it. But I have to reason with myself and tell myself hey, something I can't handle or something I can't do. I got to ask you know, or it goes left undone.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm not going to mention anybody's name, but the relationship thing, support. So you know one of the guys in the program who I think kindly of, that I just think has a ton of potential. When he first came in he had some setbacks and since then he pushed through. But I believe that, like in his case that other people he had played a big part, like he put the work in humility, owned his mistakes, but I think the people that after that that he surrounded himself with made a big difference. You know, um, he has still had to show up every day, so but but I do think that has an impact, just having someone that if you want help, I'll do it.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to stay clean today too. That's why I love recovery. In addiction, man, everything had an angle like if I helped you, I it's because I thought I could gain something from you down the road, like, or you would be indebted to me in some way. But I got peace in that going into a meeting like yeah, I'll help you because I'm trying to stay clean, sober day too, and I I have to help someone to do that. I'm like all the cards are on the table, you're helping me because you're working a program, I can do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely, and that's huge what you just said. I've seen people fall away from the program that were on the right path, it seemed like and everything was going great for them, but they ended up surrounded by people who were not serious about recovery and being in the program and they fell away with them. You know they they were susceptible to not having boundaries and stuff and that was that's the boundaries is a huge deal. It's. It's. There's some lines. I'm just not willing to cross some things. I'm, and, and the guys who I hang out with, they wouldn't even ask me. You know, it's not even it's not an option to ask me if we're going to go do something dumb. It's just not even part of the lexicon and it's just not. Yeah, sign me up.
Speaker 2:I was going to say when you are talking about that I used to. Dave was talking about if it hit my. That was my motto if it feels good, do it. Whether it was right or wrong had not anything to do with it. It was if it felt good I was gonna do it, and that is a hard way to live absolutely that, dave, was that one percent time was talking about when I said 99 percent of the time, that was that one percent checks.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I enjoy on. We attend this meeting on Tuesday nights. I had to learn about healthy boundaries and commitments. Nowadays, I don't say things that I am not going to be able to do, you know, and I establish those healthy boundaries up front and don't expect someone else to know them without me telling them. So that's a real big part of my recovery is the bridge meeting. I enjoy the bridge meeting. I've learned so much from that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to those of us who are listening, who are not in recovery boundaries make you a healthy person, period. If you think you're healthy but don't have boundaries, you're not healthy, and that's something that my wife and I walked through is that she just didn't have boundaries when we got together and she heard me say no to a lot of things that I learned the boundaries from the same person that you're talking about and her learning and building boundaries. Now, like you said a while ago, kristen, like when someone doesn't respond well to her boundaries or my boundaries, it's like a neon sign that we know this isn't a healthy relationship and so boundaries aren't just for people who struggle with substance abuse, they're for everybody.
Speaker 3:You can be friendly with everybody, but you don't have to be friends with everybody. Some people are just not your person. They're just not your people. I mean, you still have to be respectful and kind and willing to help out and that's something that, especially in recovery, that we learn. That you know. We can't let that alienate the message of recovery. But you know, outside of that, you know you don't have to have my phone number to call me on, ask me. You know, normal, regular, friendly stuff if, if I feel like you're not working towards the same goals I'm working towards, that's just you know. Yeah, more importantly, I'm not strong enough to deal with that. You know I've. I've seen me wrecked by surrounding myself with people that aren't like-minded or heading in the same direction I'm going. I just can't survive like that. It just you know. I've seen that miserably fail in my life. I'm just not willing to do it again. I don't have another run.
Speaker 2:Well, I know I've talked to both of you and things are going well. Like I know, David shared earlier that he has a career-type job. He loves it. He's making fair money. Are you in that pretty solid in?
Speaker 3:your work. Yeah, I have a commercial driver's license, so I drive a truck every day and I absolutely love my job.
Speaker 3:We actually work for the same company. So, yeah, in my interview I told my future boss who's my boss now that I was looking for a place that I heard his employees were happy and that's what I'm looking for. You know, you got anything like that. And he was like, yeah, come on in, dude, I got you. So I was like, all right, sweet, so, and really yeah, so I'm super happy. I know that helping people in recovery will probably always have to be a part of my recovery, but I don't see myself ever leaving my job. I absolutely love what I do.
Speaker 2:Well, you mentioned you got a car and I know a lot about you guys, or at least since your time here, so I know some of the stuff you've accomplished, and I know that both of you have. Well, you got your license right, dave, like since you've been here, and that was a significant accomplishment, right 17 years without one. And what do you mind me asking, like final out the door, what you had to pay to get them back Me out of pocket? Just total what it cost $2,900.
Speaker 4:That's a pay to get them back me out of pocket. It just total what it cost, uh, twenty nine hundred dollars that's pretty big commitment.
Speaker 3:And and 17 years, yeah, okay, twenty nine hundred and 17 years and lots of tickets yeah, and I know you, you've both gotten vehicles and things, so what?
Speaker 2:what I'm getting at is, like you, you've put all this work in in a short period of time and you're reaping the rewards of that and now you're building a life that's one it's easier not to use in agreed absolutely, and that you're accomplishing things, so it's it makes it harder to allow a risk in there. You know, like allowing other people in that could jeopardize that. Once you put all that work in, at least it has for me. Like I hadn't always had these things. They may be basic for some people, but they wasn't for me, you know. And now that I have them, I want to hang on to them.
Speaker 2:So if you're on something that's other than you know, that's, you know, is outside of just a healthy behavior or trying to stay clean and sober. It's nothing personal, it's just business. I'm not willing to give this up anymore. And uh, it took me a while to get to that point. Y'all probably honestly got to where you're at faster than my road took me. But uh, once you get it, man, you just don't want to get it. It's wonderful. No one has ever taken anything from me ever. I gave it away. Yeah, I'm on that page too.
Speaker 3:Here you go, and man, I'm trying not to do that stuff anymore For me. I was tired of being mad at people who didn't do anything wrong. Once I realized that they hadn't actually done anything wrong, I was like man, that's all on me, isn't it? That's a tough pill to swallow. You've done all this stuff, and other people have a right to have their resentments against you. A lot of times in recovery, we talk about our resentments that we have about the past, but the amount of resentments that I've left behind in the world for other people to have towards me is just huge, and so that's something to be worked through, you know, and that's something that I work through.
Speaker 2:One more question guys, I really appreciate you dedicating the time to kind of share your story. But, uh, if, if someone was at the place, you were like incarcerated, whatever in treatment, maybe and we're looking to take that next step if you could give them some advice ahead of time based on what you've learned, like what would that be?
Speaker 4:If they were a drug addict or an addiction, I would tell them to definitely attend treatment. Start there. That would be my response 's. I mean it helped me, so I mean that's all I could do, you think?
Speaker 2:sober living is a key part to like going from treatment to sober living. Do you do you think that increases their chance of success? Absolutely absolutely.
Speaker 4:It continues on from from treatment. It just it puts you at the next level. It's like in the book the Steps, it's like the next step. I figured you go to treatment, dry out, learn a few things, then try to get back out in the world, transition out into the world and have a little bit more freedom. But keep on it, you know, start working on you One step at a time.
Speaker 2:What about you, Chris? What would be your advice to someone that's just starting a journey?
Speaker 3:Starting a journey in the same place I was in jail Could be. Yeah, take a look at your jumpsuit that you're wearing and know that I'm not wearing one right now. You know, I mean it sounds. A lot of people respond to just materialistic things. You know, I have nice stuff. You know, and A lot of people respond to just materialistic things. I have nice stuff, and when I was locked up, I didn't nor did I have any hope or ambition, or even sitting here doing this podcast was never even on my radar of stuff that I would be doing at some point. I thought I would just use and die and that would be life.
Speaker 3:So, give yourself a break. Go to a meeting, take a friend, take two. Go to a meeting, make a friend. Take two. Go to a meeting, make a friend. You know, uh, maybe not take yours, maybe they're just not your people. You know what I mean. Just cause you run around with some people, don't mean they're your people, you know, uh, uh, you know, if they are, they'll follow you into a meeting room. They'll follow you to, to, to this path too. You know, if they're not willing to come down this road because they're scared or they got other issues, man, set your boundaries up. They're not for you. Man, it's okay not to have everybody in your life all the time.
Speaker 1:To our listeners. Thanks for joining us today. We know addiction is not going to get better from things like tougher laws, but it's going to come from people sharing what they've learned, their strength and hope. Every person's story is impactful and matters. Thanks for joining us today.